


dear, a dead girl

by chesyre



Category: Original Work
Genre: Ambiguity, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Child Neglect, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Disability, Disassociation, Dysfunctional Family, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Guilt, Haunting, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Health Issues, Non-Graphic Violence, Poetry, Projection, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Self-Hatred, Self-Reflection, Siblings, Unrequited Hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:08:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24509659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chesyre/pseuds/chesyre
Summary: You wish you could leaveYou want to leaveBut you're bound to this houseAnd the people you hauntThey killed you.
Relationships: Original Female Character & Original Female Character
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	dear, a dead girl

**Author's Note:**

> I needed to vent.  
> Tread carefully.

Dear, a dead girl  
~~How are you?  
No  
Are you happy?  
No wait  
What is this-  
A feeling-~~  
Something's missing, you can feel it  
It's hollow and it creeps  
Along the ridge of your spine  
Like the tongue of a lover long lost  
A slithering fiend leaving behind it's slick trail  
Tingling on gooseflesh  
For you to dig into over and over again  
Yet your fingers keep phasing through  
~~You phantom.~~

You linger  
~~Biting down your curses  
A scream boiling in your guts~~  
And from the shadows, you watch  
As happy people come and go.  
Your eyes are weary and stained with dust  
Blind with death as blinded in life  
Yet you can still hear all the screams  
~~And in their silence, the lies are the loudest.~~

You wish you could leave  
You want to leave  
But you're bound to this house  
And the people you haunt  
~~They killed you. ~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~

Do you remember what it feels like?  
~~You know it burned  
But which part?  
The water?  
No  
The water was lukewarm~~  
It was 5:01 pm, Tuesday  
~~What burned?  
Oh  
Your eyes~~  
You wanted to sleep  
~~It was warm  
You hadn't felt such warmth in so long have you~~  
How wonderful would it have been  
To die in your sleep? 

It was peaceful in theory  
But your execution was sloppy  
~~As always~~  
You never dreamed  
~~You knew you wouldn't dream~~  
So you stared at spotted black in muffled bliss  
~~And waited.~~

~~Your lungs must've stung so  
Could you breathe?  
Did you want  
Doesn't matter  
Your lungs were useless anyway.~~

~~Why  
You don't remember~~  
It was 5:01 pm, Tuesday  
And you were tired.  
~~Now you're a ghost  
And you'll never rest  
What a pity.~~

The family you haunt were never happy  
Mother and father never smiling  
Always taking turns with the blame  
Yet never saying sorry  
~~And the "I love you"s taste so bitter  
On your tongue  
As did the tears.~~

A sister who never cared  
And cried selfish bitter tears  
To her knife that she never touched  
And the needle bent at the tip  
To chase lonely dreams and false promises  
She made to herself every night  
~~And hated you most of all.~~

You  
A dead girl  
~~You never had a soul  
You never cried or smiled  
You never loved~~  
Just stood there, quiet  
Blank, pale-faced  
~~With useless lungs  
And worthless eyes~~  
Always tired  
~~You watched us rot  
You drained them  
You monster.~~

You liked some things  
~~Not anymore~~  
Pencils and pens were your friends, I recall  
Scissors could make the most wonderful shapes  
~~And the red sting they'd leave behind when you'd slip up  
Tingles in your throbbing blue vein~~  
Or the dolls who were your actors  
To play your games  
Of a happy family living in a big house  
And how you'd mold them with a crafty hand  
And a devilish eye  
On the finer details  
So they'd do what they're told  
~~Like Mommy and Daddy.~~

You were tired  
It was 5:01 pm, Tuesday  
You were always tired  
You were always a ghost  
Lingering in the shadows  
And holding your tongue  
Having buried yourself years ago.  
~~You don't hate them  
You pity them  
You envy them  
Their smiles  
Their tears  
Look so real at a distance~~  
And yet here you are  
~~You phantom  
You creature  
You cursed them.~~

You died 5:01 pm, Tuesday  
Still in the bath far too late  
The dress they forced you into  
Had long sleeves  
That covered your wrists. 

The family still live at that house  
~~The bathroom still stinks of bleach~~  
And your room isn't yours anymore  
But your face still peeks around the corner  
Frozen in a fonder time  
Tucked away behind happier faces  
Hidden away ~~and hopefully forgotten~~  
Still dusty eyed and sporting that same ~~hollow~~ smile  
~~That you were always good at faking~~  
But your name is a secret between them  
That is rarely spoken  
Oh well  
~~You don't even remember your name anyway.~~

As you watch your nephew in your room  
Your eyes have a peculiar spark, I say  
As you watch his play  
A paper-crowned prince from a faraway land  
And his cardboard castle lies beyond the mountains and valleys  
Of lumpy bed sheets  
Saving a princess dressed up  
As an old doll you once retired  
A revived actor ready for the show  
That died with you to begin anew  
I swear I see you ~~smile.~~

 ~~Love,~~  
Sincerely,  
~~M~~  
~~Your~~  
~~An uncari~~  
a dead girl's sister


End file.
